Shifting Cultures

Shifting cultures again this morning.

Leaving behind city streets and familiar places.

Going to where the rows and rows of matching buildings live.

 

Shifting cultures again.

I know He's teaching me to do this more. Better. Easier.

It's jarring every time. 

Because I take it in deep.

Even for a morning, I enter and live among.

I soak it in... their way, their pace, their feel.

Everything is safe and clean and car-convenient.

Everything peaceful and perfect - on the outside.

But I know. I remember.

 

Inside, we are all hungry for the same God.

Longing for the same home far away from here.

Afraid of more than we care to admit.

Hurting more than we allow ourselves to feel.

Longing for love - unconditional and unwavering.

 

Wishing we were brave enough to let shoulders drop, put feet up, and trust.

Wishing we could get close without so much risk.

Wishing we could capture the beautiful moments and make them last forever.

Wishing we had it together. Or even better, that we could all admit to one another that we don't.

 

We wear different clothes, even different skin, live in different places, think differently, live differently.

Yet the deepest places, the quiet moments... they are the same.

We cry out for our Creator, longing for something better, Someone closer.

 

When we strip down to what is real, we are more alike than we could ever imagine.

So today, I want to see what is real.

To not be distracted by changing scenery and shifting cultures. 

To hone in with laser focus on the hearts of man and the throne of God.

 

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Acts of Hope

Have you ever heard someone say that when you are depressed, you should help someone else? Have you ever heard someone say that you should praise God even when you don't feel like it?

I've been told these things more times than I can count. And it was always a struggle for me to wrap my heart around.

Because there were many times that I had been depressed in the past and helped others, and in the process I was believing things that weren't true - that my feelings didn't matter, that I didn't matter, that I had to fix them in order to be okay. But those didn't come from God - they came from the enemy of my soul who wants to keep me as far from God's love as possible.

And there were times that I didn't feel like praising God and it seemed like I would be fake or a hypocrite if I praised Him anyway.

Can you relate to either of these?

Well, this morning, my heart began to grasp this in a greater way. I will explain with a story...

Imagine yourself on the bus, 5 minutes away from home. You are holding an apple, and you are about to start eating it (discreetly, of course, so that the bus driver doesn't notice...) when a desperate-looking man asks if he can have your apple.

Now, you happen to know for a fact that there is a big bowl of fruit sitting on your kitchen table. So, you hand him your apple without a second thought.

You can hand him the apple because you have the hope of eating an apple in just a few minutes. And if you want, maybe you will also eat an orange and a kiwi.

Well, the application of this is a lot more difficult, but it is the same principle. I know (whether I feel it or not) that God loves me, that my feelings DO matter to Him, and that I can trust Him to fix whoever or whatever needs to be fixed.

So I can reach out and encourage someone, even when my heart feels hopeless, because I have hope in a God who has a whole bowl full of love and encouragement waiting for me! Even if I can't see it.

And, I can praise God, not pretending to be happy, but choosing to focus on the things that are true even when I don't feel them.

The truth is, if you have confessed with your mouth Jesus is truly in charge of the whole planet and your life and believed in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, then you have a real and factual hope.

So even if you don't feel hopeful, you can still act on the hope that you have.

And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. (Romans 5:5)

Character Sketches, Volume 1: Daddy's Girl

I can't believe how much time has passed since I wrote the post about my grief over leaving Chicago and promised my readers a series of posts about just a few of the people who impacted me while I was there.

To be honest, writing this stuff HURTS, though in a healing way. But I have avoided that pain for too long. I am now rejoicing in the joy and peace that comes with embracing the difficulties God has for me. So here goes...


It is my hope that by sharing with you the character attributes of a few people who taught me how to walk with God, that you and I both will become more like them.


There were several people in Chicago who mentored me in the faith, not to mention the sages and prayer warriors who provided "pit stops" for me along the way. I wish I had time to speak of everyone who has impacted me deeply in my walk with God, including those who have walked alongside me.

But since I can't really blog for 40 hours a week (oh, how I wish I could!), I have narrowed it down to four people:


-Raquel, who mentored me

-Anja, who was my Bible study leader along with Raquel

-George, who taught me to pray

-Pastor Kevin and his wife, Gillian


Many have spoken into my life, served me, and sought God with me (and on my behalf). But these four people layed down their lives again and again and again and again...

DADDY'S GIRL

It always mysitified me how Anja always had so much love to share. She would always give these great big hugs that would break down every last defense you were holding up. There were several times that I thought I was doing fine, until Anja hugged me. Then, I began to cry.


And I wasn't the only one. She has a hug that says, "You are loved. You are safe. It's okay to go ahead and be you."

So where does she get that? For much of my adult life, I have felt like I barely had enough love to accept myself, be cordial to the people around me, and make it through the day. In fact, there have been long stretches of time when I dreamed of having even that much love.

So how could Anja be so ... full?

I knew it wasn't because she had an easy life. If there is anyone who has walked through more than her fair share of difficulty, it is Anja. Yet here she was - serving, loving, praying and at times, darn near bouncing up and down with joy.

Why?

Because Anja has a heart of worship. I have seen her pour out her affection for God in worship with a look of delight - the look of a Daddy's girl. She knows that she is completely accepted and loved by her Daddy.

When others were too self-conscious or disinterested, she would pour out her affection on God during Sunday morning worship (and that was not the only time she did it - she would also do this alone in her room with her guitar...). She would kneel, lay on her face before God, raise her hands, jump up and down, and generally express her heart to Him.


And because He is faithful and true, He would fill her up.

A heart that is full of God to overflowing. This is my desire. This is what I see in Anja.

Yet I tend to want the fullness and the overflow without the falling on my face before God. Without having to pour out my affections on Him and Him only. Without being willing to be used by Him as He wills (regardless of how I feel).

What I have truly sought after is the effects of a close relationship with God without the effort and humility required to actually draw near to Him.


It's about time I followed Anja's example, don't you think?

Father, I adore you.


I lay my life before you.


How I love you!

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