Shifting Cultures

Shifting cultures again this morning.

Leaving behind city streets and familiar places.

Going to where the rows and rows of matching buildings live.

 

Shifting cultures again.

I know He's teaching me to do this more. Better. Easier.

It's jarring every time. 

Because I take it in deep.

Even for a morning, I enter and live among.

I soak it in... their way, their pace, their feel.

Everything is safe and clean and car-convenient.

Everything peaceful and perfect - on the outside.

But I know. I remember.

 

Inside, we are all hungry for the same God.

Longing for the same home far away from here.

Afraid of more than we care to admit.

Hurting more than we allow ourselves to feel.

Longing for love - unconditional and unwavering.

 

Wishing we were brave enough to let shoulders drop, put feet up, and trust.

Wishing we could get close without so much risk.

Wishing we could capture the beautiful moments and make them last forever.

Wishing we had it together. Or even better, that we could all admit to one another that we don't.

 

We wear different clothes, even different skin, live in different places, think differently, live differently.

Yet the deepest places, the quiet moments... they are the same.

We cry out for our Creator, longing for something better, Someone closer.

 

When we strip down to what is real, we are more alike than we could ever imagine.

So today, I want to see what is real.

To not be distracted by changing scenery and shifting cultures. 

To hone in with laser focus on the hearts of man and the throne of God.

 

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A Morning Walk

Walking these streets, I find myself.

In the grafitti on a wall.
In rocking chairs on a porch.
In the simple, boring building, fallen to disrepair.
In the quirky little house painted crazy colors that don't go together at all.
In the grand, majestic home with the pristine lawn.
In the sleek new structure built not too long ago.
In the zany paintings on the street.

In the smiles that dare to say good morning to a stranger.
In the cries for justice on the neighborhood bulletin board.
In the tall and glorious trees that sing praises to my God.
In the lawn art that seems so crazy it makes me laugh.

Echoes of the many places I've lived.
Echoes of who I've been, who I am now.
Echoes of longings, dreams of who I want to be.
Ugliness and beauty allowed to stand side by side...
Reflecting much of what I find within.

This place allows me space to live a simple life...
to stop in unannounced and share heart-talk with a friend,
to chat again with the same bus driver, say hi to the same neighbor.
Yet also opportunity for whatever grand adventure my heart desires...
a waterfall, a city of books, a chance to explore what's down that road,
simply because I've never been there before.

Living in Draft

One of the first few roses of spring that hint of the bounty to come.

Incomplete thoughts scrawled in my journal.
Seeds of songs recorded on my phone.
Half-written blog posts waiting to be completed.
Friendships being built.
Vision being uncovered within our church body.
A life-long marriage that is five years old and ready for kindergarten. :)
New habits being developed and many more that are hopes for the future.
Half of an herb garden.
Some clutter collecting dust while it waits to be organized or sent away.
A realization that I am made to write, but not a lot written quite yet.
A passion to shed the debt that weighs us down, but still taking baby steps.
A Savior that has ransomed me, but not yet returned to take me home.
Living in this unfinished draft of a life and learning to be satisfied
and peaceful in this place.
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A Simple Life in the City?

I want to live a simple life.

I will admit, though, that I LOVE to explore and discover. I especially love OPTIONS. Living in the city is definitely where I want to be - especially this wonderful city that is so close to the woods, waterfalls, mountains, and beaches. I love being able to follow through on whims. Last week, it was the inspiration to head to the beach. Then, the next day, having high-quality coffee (with latte art, of course) and praying with a friend before heading off to our multi-cultural church.

Living surrounded by options requires a LOT of discipline, though. Because I absolutely cannot live in a way that makes full use of my options, or realize my "potential" in every area. I refuse to live a fast-paced life, chasing consumption, saving the world, running to keep up with myself. I have been tempted and sucked in to this life too many times!

I wonder if it is possible to live in the city, among all these options, and actually CHOOSE something? Even if I change my mind later, I can't just choose an "everything" life. Because that is actually an exhausted life!

If I am to live surrounded by options, I must say no to most of them. One thing I'm discovering is that there is a bit of grief that I go through in saying no to some things in order to choose others. Especially when I have to say no to something exciting or fun or inspiring and say yes to the basic chores of life. Or say no to someone in need so that I can get some needed rest and recreation time.

I spent a good number of my growing up years in a very small town - Sedalia, population 274. Apparently the population has grown by 24 people since 1875. When I lived there, there was no grocery store, unless you count Mr. Brown's grocery (pictured above).

No restaurants.

No pizza delivery.

No 911.

No police, except a temporary intern who camped out for speed trap next our house.

There was a gas station, until the pump broke.

There was a school, though certainly not geared to help a creative type like me to thrive.

I think you get the idea. Not many options!

However, there are things I miss...

People sitting on porches.

Evening walks.

Waving and saying hi to everyone.

Not hearing the word "busy."

So one of the quests of my life is to capture a piece of country life and live it here, surrounded by options. After all, what good are options, if I don't choose the best ones?

So today, after some quality time with a friend and her son, I chose to walk to the grocery store. Buy just a few needed items. Enjoy the walk. Taste the recipe they are sampling at the counter. Blog for a bit before preparing a homemade meal.

A Simple Life in the City.

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Centered and Free

What if I lived the contemplative life?

What if I allowed myself the space to draw near to God? To take delight in Him and in His creation? To think and to clear my mind and allow His thoughts to enter in.

What if I treated myself as I would treat those I most honor?

What if I lived a CENTERED life?

I don't want to live a self-centered life. I don't want to live an others-centered life (this sounds very pious, but is in fact quite tumultuous). I don't want to live an un-centered life. I want to live a God-centered life.

Why is it that the path to a God-centered life FEELS self-centered? I have to say no to others in order to create space to find God and draw near to Him.

I can hear the critics in my mind:

"It must be nice to have all that time to think."

People who feel trapped will often, unintentionally, make you feel guilty for being free.

I refuse to remain trapped. My King has set me free.

I will not work my fingers to the bone trying to save the world. God is the only one who can save the world. He already sent His Son to die so that every person has the choice to be free. If I run myself ragged and white-knuckled through life, how will they see what freedom looks like? If I talk as someone who is trapped, how will I offer anyone a way out of their trap?

By living in freedom, we offer an invitation to those around us to be free.

---

pause

Wisdom is churning

as I

pause.

The world is swirling

all around me

as I

pause.

I don't have to stop it.

I don't have to keep it going.

Let it swirl.

I will

pause.

---

I Finally Found My Calling

I was sitting on the beach awhile back, and I had this thought:

This is what I am called to do...

I am called to sit here and look at the ocean.

I'll wait for you to stop laughing before I continue. :)

Now, obviously, this is not the entirety of my calling. That would be unbiblical. Yet there is something about sitting and enjoying His beauty that is essential to who I am created to be.

There is something very right and very holy about looking at His creation and resting in the fact that He made it - and He didn't need my help! And it is all so stunning. What is it about women that we walk around with this perpetual feeling that everything will fall apart without us?

That's one thing I love about God. There is absolutely nothing I can do, or leave undone, that will change the fact that He is completely fulfilled and completely capable.

If I stop serving or strategizing or cleaning or fixing for a little while, He somehow manages to take care of the whole universe without me! It sounds obvious, I know, but it isn't until I'm sitting and staring at a vast ocean or a peaceful waterfall or giant trees that it really sinks into my heart again.

I don't have to be motivated by guilt or fear. He has it all under control. All I need to do is draw near to Him and just do what He tells me to do and be who He wants me to be in this moment.

I don't have to save the world, mend all the broken hearts, fix all of the dysfunction, end hunger and poverty (that one isn't likely anyway, since Jesus said the poor will always be among us), and make sure my home is spotless and that I have put a healthy, inexpensive dinner on the table while I am at it!

The Bible is God's story about Himself and His purposes. There's so much wisdom in there about who I should be and how I should live. Yet He makes it really clear that it's not about learning all those "shoulds" and then adding them to my to do list for this week!

The idea is to draw near to Him, abide in Him, and let Him glorify Himself through me. To let Him live... not me. To let Him love... not me. To let Him be gentle...not me. To let Him be kind... not me.

But doesn't that sound...wrong?

Doesn't the Bible say I'm supposed to be kind and gentle?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-25

I can't be kind or gentle any more than I could reach inside my heart and pull out a kumquat. My job is to keep in step with the Spirit. He produces the fruit! (I am glad, though, that He didn't leave us wondering what the fruit looks like!)

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing." John 15:5

So where did I get the notion that following God is more about DOING than ABIDING?

Selah.

Lessons Along the Journey: Accomplishment

Lesson #4: Let go of accomplishment.

But God, you've been teaching me about diligence! I don't understand! I was just starting to get a little momentum with this diligence thing, and now you're telling me I don't have to accomplish any of it to be loved by you? That nothing I'm striving toward really matters?

Without my striving, without my criticizing, what is left? Emptiness. But why?

Because if day by day, I chip away at my goals, and I accomplish a few - then there will be more goals to accomplish. So, does success mean that I accomplish all of my goals? Does not accomplishing my goals mean that I have failed?

I was created for a relationship with God. My success, really, will be in how near to Him I am. The problem is, even though I can learn spiritual disciplines that will help me to draw near to Him, it is so easy to make "success" into accomplishing a set of disciplines. Because following God is not a matter of getting the set of instructions and going off to spend the next 40 years accomplishing them.

God's instructions for me change. Oh, sure, the basic ones don't. The principles that God spoke in His Word do not change. Praise God of the stability of His Word and His promises and His character! Yet I never know what He will want me to do in this moment until I ask Him. You see, He knows His purposes and where each person is along their journey. So, I might walk past the same man on my way to work every day, and God may give me different instructions each time.

One day, God may say, "Don't worry about that guy, listen to ME..let Me fill your heart." Another day, He may give me an encouraging word to give that man. Another, day, He may tell me to steer clear of this man, because God is protecting me from something I don't know about. Another day, He may tell me to give this man all of my money. How will I know what the right thing to do is if I don't ask God? God knows what is happening inside of me and what is happening inside of the man I pass on the street. He knows my future and He knows that man's future. So He knows what He wants to happen in this moment, on this day, as I walk past this man on the way to work.

So what if I get it wrong? What if I don't ask God what He wants me to do in that moment? What if I make an assumption and I breeze past Him when God wanted me to give him an encouraging word? Or I try to encourage him when I should have avoided him? What happens if I screw this up?

God uses it for good.

If God uses it for good if I get it right, and He uses it for good if I get wrong, then why bother asking what I should do?

Because I was created for relationship with Him.

I was created to be in His presence.

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