I stood, and I stared.Am I really surrounded by beauty?
Or is this just a big mess?
I came out here to be enveloped by God's creation, by His beauty, and for the first time I am seeing that this beauty is very messy.
My stomach rumbles, and my thoughts turn to the Saturday morning ritual that my husband and I have settled into. Banana pancakes (which my husband learned from his mom - yum), good music, picking up around the house, cleaning...
And inevitably there will be a "Jelani, you left your bag next to the coffee table. Can you please put it away? It's driving me nuts."
I imagine what it would be like if I took the same approach out here in the woods...
"Lord, you left an uprooted tree right next to the lovely waterfall. Don't you think you could move it somewhere else? It's rather unsightly..."
"And the evergreens are all mixed together with the deciduous trees, could You put them where they go?""Also, You dropped these leaves everywhere...they are all over the path.."
Hmmmm. Maybe I will let God decorate and organize as chooses. :) It seems He is wise enough to know when messy is beautiful!
I wonder where if there are places in my life where I see mess, and He is trying to show me the beauty?
Messy relationships.
Mismatched moments of grief and fun.
Faltering attempts at time management.
Tangled-up emotions...
Lord, show me Your beauty in this messy life of mine. Help me to let go of trying "get it right" and enjoy the gifts you've given.
Even the painful ones.
I entrust this beautiful mess to You.
___
I like this so much, Holly. This has been one of my places of journey lately, too. Recognizing that life is tangled and messy, and it is beautiful. Side by side - mess and beauty. God is weaving these pieces together in a way we don't always (often?) understand. Thank you for making this real for me today. I love these images you've painted. Thank you, Holly, and bless you.
ReplyDeleteYes, Holly. See? Now you're starting to understand. I left the backpack next to the coffee table ON PURPOSE. :)
ReplyDeleteI wasn't so much trying to antagonize you as much as I was trying to nudge you closer to a chaotic vision of beauty that you can embrace in the comfort of your own home.
ReplyDeleteSee, really... I was thinking of you the whole time. :)
Thank you, Ashley! And thank you for sharing about your journey on your blog - it is great to be able to share with each other online :) I have read several of your posts and I want to read more of them. And we should get together again soon to share in person. (it was so great to see Mike on Friday!) Love you!
ReplyDeleteJelani... Nice try. Now, uh, could ya move the bag? ;) I love you, tho!
ReplyDeleteWhere did you see Mike? I missed something?! Yes, let's do get together soon. Miss you and love you, Holly!
ReplyDeleteAshley: Let's just say it involved a few lawyers, a rubber chicken, and Ted Kulongoski. :) Send me a message and let me know when you'd like to hang. Maybe coffee?
ReplyDelete